Are you aware of the impact you've caused in my life?
The way you seem to take over my mind
Is uncontrollable and unbearable.
The way I never see you and somehow I always see the look in your eyes
Like a faded brown photograph.
The way I seem to follow your every move
Almost as if I want to be you to see if you feel something more for me.
Isn't it crazy? This obsession, I mean.
This clueless mind has no idea how to feel anymore.
It doesn't know whether to love you or let you go.
It doesn't know whether to hate you for what you've caused.
This irreparable damage, a heart breaking slowly
Like the shattering of broken glass in slow motion.
A deafening sound that makes your heart burn.
A frantic angst to pick up the broken pieces
So that none is left to do more damage.
But most importantly, a need for you and only you to repair it
For you to come back to me from nowhere and lead me somewhere breathtaking
Some place beautiful where this cold glass can heal.
I promise myself that this happened for a reason
That I should not be angry or frightened
That this involuntary shivering should take a break or disappear forever.
I promise myself that I'll soon get you out of my mind
The hardest promise I've ever had to keep.
A reason to cheat in something, a deceiving desire
To think of you and that brief moment we shared.
It is unbelievable to me how you've changed my life somehow
So drastically like a sudden turn leading to disaster.
The mess is already made but I don't feel the need to fix it
Because this obsession has made me wait for you
This obsession has given me impossible fantasies about whom I want you to be
And how I long for you to change.
I know, unbelievable isn't it?
No matter how hard I try to deny it or pull it out of my head,
I still want you and I probably always will
Because the thought of you keeps coming back to me
But you are nowhere to be seen.
And it hurts me more than I could ever imagine.