Change, for me, was always unexpected like how driving your family's station wagon into a brick wall at top speed might feel like;
like waking up one morning and stepping outside to realize that winter and the dark and cold and grey are finally here.
I shouldn't say that losing you came too fast because you were never mine to begin with. I don't know how else to say that your scent is the only one I want to wake up to but your smell is already fading from the sheets I sleep in.
My friends say I'm ridiculous for looking for you in so many places but I see you in everything. You always knew exactly what to say and when to say it.
Your words never gave me butterflies in my stomach, no, instead they were ******* fireworks. Shooting stars. I never minded being alone until you showed me what it was like to not be on my own.
Now, I can't stop thinking of how many things I was missing out on for so many years. This is to say I wish I had met you sooner.
I've captured all of our moments in a jar, and every night, I stare at it on my bedside table and think of you and the way you captured me.
But I'm so ******* scared that one day, this glass jar will shatter in my hands and I'll lose everything I've worked so hard to save.