These feelings I have are bewildering
The questions endless
Why what who where when how
Answers are not forthcoming
Who have I becoming
What is happening to me
Why do I have these feelings
When did this seep into my soul
How am I to deal with this
This is not me
I don’t routinely burden myself with sentiment
Emotions are foreign to me
I don’t know where to turn
I turn to the almighty
I hear no answer
Why lord I need you to hear my sorrow
I know you keep silent and that your silence is piercing
You omniscience is perpetually
I am lost and I give myself up
For I am not equipped to handle this
I love her to every end of my soul
Why she is but a women
Beautiful wonderful caring loving and perfect
I shouldn’t care but I do
Why I do not know
I seek answers I find none
Does she love me but hide it
Does she not love me and cant handle it
Are we meant to be
Has she found another
Am I good enough for her
Does she deserve me
My heart says yes
I would do anything for her
Forgive any misgiving
When she doesn’t speak to me I yearn for her voice
When she is not near my body longs for her presence
When she is near my heart craves her touch
When she speaks to me my heart breaks when no love comes for her lips
My entire being implodes when she ignores me
I wish I didn’t feel this way
I pray that I should forget
But every fiber of my soul refuses
This is not me
My rational thoughts escape reasoning
Thus I turn to a higher motivation
I turn to the lord at the expense of my good sense
I cannot not accept we are not meant to be
I will toil and labor as hard as heavenly possible
To make my prayers a reality for hope without work is dead
Insanity becomes me when I use this judgment
I feel torn between faith and logic
To accept the faith I must deny my own humanity
To ignore my over worked emotions is to banish my love
I wish I could
Typically I would why is this different
This is not me who am I
I long to know her in her entirety
I desire to be with her through any burden
Where is she
What is she doing
Does she dream about me like I do for her
I am writing the most despised thing in my nature
But there is nothing else to do
My insides are upturned
I have no where to turn
What is happening to me
Does she not love me
Does she desire me
I cannot take this pain
So I turn to God
He provides no resource but still I turn
I cannot do it alone
I don’t just want her I need her
I am not complete with out her
I would do anything to have what I once did
I do not believe she doesn’t love me
But have no evidence to the contrary
And with no evidence I am ****** into abyss
Help me o lord
I don’t want to care but am powerless not to
Help me
I want her to be my partner
I long for her to be with me all the days of my life
I desire for our children to play while we sit watching in unfathomable bliss
Am I worth it
If not I fear I will die alone
I would do anything for her without any concern for my own well being
I will go through any trial and tribulation for her
As a result I must believe this is part of those trials
PATIENCE THE LORD SCREAMS AT ME
My love desire and humanity screams contrary and make my efforts arduous
But I will do thy bidding for her
She shouldn’t be that important to me yet she is
WHY
The only answer I have is because we are meant to be
I hope this to be true Help me lord
I pray with my eternal soul to the heavenly father to bring her loving arms back to me
But until that fateful day I am required to wait
I must stay in pain until the lord brings my love back to my heart
No vice no hurdle no complication is too difficult for me to triumph over
I shall be patient my lord for that is your instruction
I just hope that it is not in vain for I will be further disillusioned
She must come to me of her own free will or it would be untrue
So I shall sit and wait for her to come back I just want to survive
Until then lord guide me walk with me help me and comfort me and give me strength
For without you I would not be able to cope with the true love that I lost