I wish he would have told me how to live without him,
Not just that it was a necessity to.
But why do I seem to think I still need him?
Why is is I can't breathe when I don't have him?
I think about him and my chest tightens around my heart and lungs
Like a boa constrictor extracting life from its prey.

He was an awe- inspiring dream for me
Drifting through my dark mind
His resplendence playing through and through.
Even after he was gone
His disposition still shone brighter than a burning star.

I sit and brood, desiring that he'll resurface later in life.
It's all I can really do.
I have no idea where he is now
He could be within proximity
But he also could be a significant distance away.
But still his voice of pure splendor
Resonates in my head
Getting louder
                        And louder
                                           And louder
With each verse thrown at me
With each verse I can still remember uttered from his lips.

I detest the fact he honestly believes
That I'm a better person without him.
How can I be better without him
If he's the one that inspires me to do my best?
When he's the person who comforts the beasts inside my head?
He may not be able to stop the storm
But he's the one to bring an umbrella.
Maybe he can't turn the tide
But he'll bring a life raft for the both of us.
So how could he have the audacity to say something like that
When he doesn't look at the two side of the same coin?

I sit and write poems
Stanza after stanza dedicated to him
Hoping he will one day stumble upon my works
And know- Because if he reads them he will know-
That it was truly all for him.
So I will continue to pour my soul into my oeuvre
And spill my blood on pages.
Pages that will hold the scars,
But most likely never be viewed by the eyes of my beloved,
My world,
My dream,
My heart,
My everything.