Occasionally I feel a gloom so wrapped in emotion and fear and apprehension
Of the future
Of myself
I get strong and build myself with bricks of lace
My stomach turns
I feel wrapped up in laces of pain
I am robed in loneliness
My flats solidify every ounce of happiness and turned them into mushed grapes of deep existence
Perhaps the most lonely times are those when you know who loves you somehow yet still feel that it isn't enough
It is what tightens the cord on my robe
I let the gold ensnare my already knotted insides
Perhaps from running away from my problems I'm just creating an even bigger ball of twisted emotions
A type of lukewarm germ throbbing in the pit of my stomach
My fingers can't feel it
My body feels weighed down
Grieved down
Oh how I put on a persona of happiness
But I really am happy
God has given me so much
I dislike that I feel this
Yet don't feel anything at the same time
I hate that sentence. So emotionless
Never leave me wrap yourself around my robe
Hold me in the fetal position and never break the umbilical cord that ties me to you
Never leave me like they all do
Eventually I lose myself
I am never what they want
I **** the magic
Magic killer
The pain the solemn knowing that you are alone yet surrounded by loved ones