I won a competition I never lose.
There was no joy,
though there never is.
Not even the first time I played.
It was difficult to share,
once and long ago,
but now it comes as easily as
anger in a traffic jam.

I agree. It must've been rough
that your parents were not
supportive. It must have been
difficult moving from child to
adult without anyone telling you
how proud they were.
I may not agree with your
choice of reaction, but I understand
that it can be difficult to listen
to someone whine about their
kind and supportive parents.

Was all of that difficult to tell
everyone? You never felt like
the world was watching you,
waiting for you to slip up
so they could beat you?
It must've been hard to let
everyone into that, said the
spider to the fly.

I would take your fear of abandonment
over these storied scars.
I would take your careless parents
over the ones that cared enough
to beat me until I cared as well.
I would take your difficult life,
filled with family you can't stand
and a mother you hate when she's
not around over what I had.
It would have been easy.
People say that emotional wounds
run deeper, and it's true. They
just never bother to articulate
that physical pain can be a wonderful
source for emotional wounds as well.

But this is not a competition, not
that it would matter.
Having come from violence, and
neglect and abandonment, this
is not what wins this fight for me.
It is not what defines me.
I have built a family out of strangers
that will care for me with a caress, that
will support me with kind words,
that only yells and calls me names
with the inside joke smile of friends.

I have built a life that I always wanted.
That, my sad lonely girl
forever only three beers away
from living in the past,
That is why I win.