I think I want to end it.
But I dont.
Its very confusing when you don't know whether you want to live or die.
Some people want control.
I just want meaning.
If you give me meaning or a reason to live, and maybe a hug or two maybe i'd be ok.
And its crazy how something so simple could save my life but no one is willing to give it to me.
That shows how much i'm needed here.
I know I shouldn't want anyone to save me because superheroes don't exist but i was taught to use my imagination but that led me to be misguided and now for some reason i expect reality to be a fantasy and my fantasy to be a reality.

so...

life?
or death?

Both seem nice to me, i don't know which i should choose.
For now i'll just die slowly with no recognition of the rest of the world.