I had a bad thought.

Maybe I wasn't actually getting better or going anywhere positive in my life. Maybe I was on a downward spiral and I didn't realize until I had this thought.

"Don't be sad."

It wasn't simple anymore; being happy was almost like running a marathon without any practice beforehand.

I tried to stop thinking.

Maybe I'm literally tearing at the seams and for some reason I'm the only person who cannot see this.

Maybe the scars coating my right leg are a sign that things can't get better.

"Stop! You're breaking and I don't know how to fix you!"

*"I don't know how to fix me either! Its been four years and I'm thinking that I'm starting to disintegrate!"