Sometimes I feel like I’m in a vat of molasses,

Stuck,

Unable to move,

But on the outside I’m still moving,

Smiling,

Laughing,

Hiding,

Lying,

And sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in the shadows,

Tied down,

Kept in an unending circle of thoughts,

Forced to relive my darkest moments,

Hearing the words said to me by others,

‘Freak,’

‘Ugly,’

‘Idiot, ‘

‘Stupid,’

‘Shut up!’

‘No one cares!’

‘Why should I listen to you?’

‘******,’

‘****** *****,’

‘Yeah, so?’

‘Was I talking to you?’

‘Go away!’

‘We don’t want you here!’

‘Go somewhere else!’

And after a while new ones are added, ones said by my own brain to me,

I’m a freak,

I’m a good for nothing,

I’m a loser,

I’m never going to amount to anything,

I’m Hideous,

If I’m not carful they’ll know I’m weird and tell me to leave,

Who cares what I have to say?

I’m worthless,

My writing’s s**t,

I’m fat,

I’m weak,

I should have run farther,

Look at me, can’t even do a pull up,

And sometimes I feel so wrapped up in those thoughts that I can’t even breathe,

Can’t pull myself out,

Can’t look up,

Can’t get out of the shadows,

Can’t see the light,

I feel so lonely,

Too caught up in the looks others give me to see the smiles of my friends,

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in the dark,

Sometimes I feel like the shadows will consume me,

Sometimes I need someone to pass me a torch to beat off the shadows and ward off the darkness,

Sometimes I need someone to pull me out of the vat of molasses,

Sometimes I need someone to see past the smiles,

Sometimes I need someone to see the girl tied down in the shadows,

Sometimes I need someone to untie me,

Sometimes I need someone to break the circle of thoughts,

Sometimes I need someone to wave away my darkest moments,

Sometimes I need someone to combat what others and myself say,

To say that I’m worth it,

I’ll succeed,

I’m beautiful,

That they will never leave,

I belong here,

Don’t go,

Stay,

We’ll never make you leave,

What do you think?

You’re worth something,

Your writing’s great,

You’re strong,


Other times when I’m in the light,

I see those who are in the shadows,

And then I’m the one who beats off the shadows,

I’m the one who passes the torch,

I’m the one who wards off the darkness,

I’m the one who pulls them out of the vat of molasses,

I’m the one who sees past the smiles,

I’m the one who unties them,

I’m the one who breaks the circle of thoughts,

I’m the one who combats the words,

I’m the one who offers companionship,

I’m the one who gives the encouraging words,

I’m the one who helps,

I’m the one who saves a life.