As I step into place
Whether surrounded by others
Or just one other
I’m alone

As the gun shoots
I start
Like an out of body experience
My feet aren’t mine

I’m not even me
As I’m floating above this ******* auto pilot
And from above all seems clear
For one split second

Then I’m back
Moving
In the direction they tell me to run
At the speed they tell me is best

And yet I feel so free
And when I want to speed up
When I want to sprint ahead
Leave all else in the dust

It’s just a question of endurance
And honestly I feel like I can endure anything
Actually I feel like I have
Like I’ve endured everything

I know I haven’t there’s more pain to come
Speeding up just wears you out faster
But with that ******* my heels
I just can’t let her catch up
As she gets closer
I remember
All the things I want to forget
All the things I’m running against

And a surge of energy
Whips through me
Full of emotions
And exploding with power

The hatred for the boy with no heart
The sorrow for the friend who will never see me run
The anxiety I’m not ready for the future
The fear I’m not good enough

So as I run far from sight from the girl behind
As I pass the finish line
And want to fall from exhaustion
I feel happy

But what do I do
When I can’t keep running?
When I’m not fast enough?
When the girl catches up?