May 2014
Your first love never goes away.
You can't decide if it's a burden of a bee or the welcoming of a butterfly.
In your heart, mind, body, and soul- he does not grow, he stays the way you felt one day he was as a perfect piece of human art. Before all the messy *******, before he became literature in your ******* hands that you didn't know what to do with and now it's all a little too familiar. Your mind starts drifting on a boat that has long gone sailed away.
You're laying next to someone now and this realization has just abruptly struck you in the eyes. Your mind, a deep abyss of imagination and hidden secrets and memories too important to share with anyone but the once significant other. But the one you can hear breathing at an off beat rhythm to the inhale- exhale of your own, he's maybe your 2nd, 3rd, or 8th. I guess you had a lot of time on your hands. New hands held yours but you knew they could never compare to the feel of the first person to grasp your hands and take you by surprise with a gift of three words wrapped up in lies. Yes, lies. You're thinking now, your eyes are opened but you didn't realize it, and you feel the adrenaline rush of an imaginable touch, but a more than realistic feel. You feel that you're committing a hopeless crime. That you have no control over the thoughts that swarm and sting the inside of your head. To stop the thoughts would be out of your reach and would result in a flash flood warning from the faucet in your lower lids. And you feel like you may have just committed a ******. A triple homicide, if you will. Your heart was asking for it and your head was begging. But what the **** did your hands ever do? Is to touch him in your dreams such a ****** thing to do? Is to love a long lost friend such a sin that only you could do? you stay completely and willingly at war with yourself, wondering if your multiple choice questions will forever go unanswered. Are you stupid? Is there an obvious choice between secure and edgey? You mustn't have read the question correctly, no. I guess you just signed up for the wrong class. One thing you'll never seem to exterminate is the thump of your heart, head, and body as you reminisce on that particular , meaningful kiss. The last the last the last. You never knew it'd be the last. You thought it'd all work out soon enough but now you're laying in a bed next to a ******* stranger. He is foreign to a love like your first. Goodnight, sweet dreams to the devil and angel that live amongst my shoulders
You can't decide if it's a burden of a bee or the welcoming of a butterfly.
In your heart, mind, body, and soul- he does not grow, he stays the way you felt one day he was as a perfect piece of human art. Before all the messy *******, before he became literature in your ******* hands that you didn't know what to do with and now it's all a little too familiar. Your mind starts drifting on a boat that has long gone sailed away.
You're laying next to someone now and this realization has just abruptly struck you in the eyes. Your mind, a deep abyss of imagination and hidden secrets and memories too important to share with anyone but the once significant other. But the one you can hear breathing at an off beat rhythm to the inhale- exhale of your own, he's maybe your 2nd, 3rd, or 8th. I guess you had a lot of time on your hands. New hands held yours but you knew they could never compare to the feel of the first person to grasp your hands and take you by surprise with a gift of three words wrapped up in lies. Yes, lies. You're thinking now, your eyes are opened but you didn't realize it, and you feel the adrenaline rush of an imaginable touch, but a more than realistic feel. You feel that you're committing a hopeless crime. That you have no control over the thoughts that swarm and sting the inside of your head. To stop the thoughts would be out of your reach and would result in a flash flood warning from the faucet in your lower lids. And you feel like you may have just committed a ******. A triple homicide, if you will. Your heart was asking for it and your head was begging. But what the **** did your hands ever do? Is to touch him in your dreams such a ****** thing to do? Is to love a long lost friend such a sin that only you could do? you stay completely and willingly at war with yourself, wondering if your multiple choice questions will forever go unanswered. Are you stupid? Is there an obvious choice between secure and edgey? You mustn't have read the question correctly, no. I guess you just signed up for the wrong class. One thing you'll never seem to exterminate is the thump of your heart, head, and body as you reminisce on that particular , meaningful kiss. The last the last the last. You never knew it'd be the last. You thought it'd all work out soon enough but now you're laying in a bed next to a ******* stranger. He is foreign to a love like your first. Goodnight, sweet dreams to the devil and angel that live amongst my shoulders
