it's like my whole life I've had to battle with the drug addictions of my father.
it's like I'm in a constant fight for his love with the pretty white pills.
want to know something ironic? there's a picture of me right on his dresser where he displays his ***** deeds.
funny, huh? it's almost like we're the two most important things in his life.
his drugs and his little girl.
every **** day it's like I have to win his love. I feel like there's this constant competition and I bet I'm losing the fight.
I cannot tell if I hate myself more than I hate my father because I am just like him or because I've never been enough for him. (why aren't I enough, daddy?)
so when I say I never want to end up with anyone like my father it's almost (almost) funny that my boyfriend is currently waiting for his dope dealer. and it's almost (almost) ironic that every time I know my boyfriend is smoking a joint that I immediately feel like I'm in a war all over again.
every one in my family has an addiction and mine happens to be all the people I've ever met. so I'm sorry when I feel like I have to win your love over the ******* ****. (I'm just so sick of this battle)
my whole life I've been trying to be better than all the ways my father heals whatever pain he's trying to fix (it's exhausting),
so forgive me when I say I need to be the only drug you ever need again.