is it always going to be like this?

am i always going to feel so invisible? so unnoticeable?
it always comes back to you, doesn't it?
i wish it didn't, but it does.

your eyes, your smile, your laugh;
they're not meant for me, and they never were.
they're meant for her.

i spend so much time
trying to talk myself out of these feelings,
but  they  just  won't  go  away.

though when i really sit down and think about it,
about you  and  i together,
it frightens me, and i feel silly for imagining such things in the first place.

we wouldn't work,
i know we wouldn't.
but i still get this feeling sometimes...

this feeling that we would be great together,
better than you and her--but i know that's foolish.
and it's a thought i shouldn't even entertain.

and so i ask: is it always going to be like this?