May 2014
The sunset was fantastically accurate to my mood as we laid in the plush grass and listened to lyrics that told us the hearts of saints are the hardest to love and that we should stay away and I, being a saint in your eyes, became the one poison you could not swallow. You left me that night.
2. Pushing rocks off the overhang to the sea which used to crash high onto the surf but now only just reaches the sandy banks of our backyard, I tossed rocks into that water for months waiting for you to come back.
3. Fact: there was a period of time where I would sleep off your special brand of liquor
Fact: you called it love
Fact: I thought of it as ***
4. If I had told you I loved you for the 186th time would you have finally accepted it?
5. Towers of lies like skyscrapers, every floor filled with the lies I've told (What floor ma'am? Oh deceit? Yes see, that's floor 23)
6. Excessive bleeding of my heart caused by the incisive ends of your sharp words.
7. You think I don't understand the flow of your mind and I think it's silly because I do - the flow isn't quite unlike a river near a stormy city, overflowing half the time I rain information on you, information that dries up on the banks of your brain like a salamanders back on a steamy beach, it runs in one ear (maybe) and out the other because you don't care about me anymore.
8. Never did I see a moon shine like it did the night I caught you sipping moonshine with my neighbors' daughter - the one who was 15, not the oldest - which would have hurt me less but I suppose my pain was your goal.
9. Making assumptions doesn't suit me well, but half the assumptions I made about you we're true like when I assumed you we're really out are Pinky's the night of our 1 year anniversary when you told me you got caught up at work. How do you get caught up at a 9-5 desk job?
10. Or the one time I assumed you were at work the time my sister went into labor really late on February 29th. I assumed, when you said the only car we had wasn't working and you were stuck at work, but when I drove by your job (in our neighbors car) under the direction of my very pregnant sister, I saw what I assumed - you ******* the floor tendant in the back of our Prius.
11. Her name was Becky, right?
12. My sister named the baby (a girl) Adelaide. You always called her Addy, knowing she hated it
13. The last night we went to watch the sunset I had you wait until the sky was an ink blot and explained to you that you made me like this, like the sky looked then. And even though I couldn't see your face I knew I'd hurt you because you'd picked me up 2 years ago by asking what my favorite color of the sky was.
14. I don't love you anymore, but I still miss you. If that doesn't make you want to just kiss the holy ground I walk on then I suppose I'm just wasting time and breath.
2. Pushing rocks off the overhang to the sea which used to crash high onto the surf but now only just reaches the sandy banks of our backyard, I tossed rocks into that water for months waiting for you to come back.
3. Fact: there was a period of time where I would sleep off your special brand of liquor
Fact: you called it love
Fact: I thought of it as ***
4. If I had told you I loved you for the 186th time would you have finally accepted it?
5. Towers of lies like skyscrapers, every floor filled with the lies I've told (What floor ma'am? Oh deceit? Yes see, that's floor 23)
6. Excessive bleeding of my heart caused by the incisive ends of your sharp words.
7. You think I don't understand the flow of your mind and I think it's silly because I do - the flow isn't quite unlike a river near a stormy city, overflowing half the time I rain information on you, information that dries up on the banks of your brain like a salamanders back on a steamy beach, it runs in one ear (maybe) and out the other because you don't care about me anymore.
8. Never did I see a moon shine like it did the night I caught you sipping moonshine with my neighbors' daughter - the one who was 15, not the oldest - which would have hurt me less but I suppose my pain was your goal.
9. Making assumptions doesn't suit me well, but half the assumptions I made about you we're true like when I assumed you we're really out are Pinky's the night of our 1 year anniversary when you told me you got caught up at work. How do you get caught up at a 9-5 desk job?
10. Or the one time I assumed you were at work the time my sister went into labor really late on February 29th. I assumed, when you said the only car we had wasn't working and you were stuck at work, but when I drove by your job (in our neighbors car) under the direction of my very pregnant sister, I saw what I assumed - you ******* the floor tendant in the back of our Prius.
11. Her name was Becky, right?
12. My sister named the baby (a girl) Adelaide. You always called her Addy, knowing she hated it
13. The last night we went to watch the sunset I had you wait until the sky was an ink blot and explained to you that you made me like this, like the sky looked then. And even though I couldn't see your face I knew I'd hurt you because you'd picked me up 2 years ago by asking what my favorite color of the sky was.
14. I don't love you anymore, but I still miss you. If that doesn't make you want to just kiss the holy ground I walk on then I suppose I'm just wasting time and breath.
