Why did I want you to rescue me last night?
What was going through my mind when I called asking for your number?
I'll never know.
Why did I start crying, lying on that floor, with him all over me, on the phone with him?
Why was I craving your disappointed gaze,
Your angry disapproval,
Your tired recklessness?
Why did I think you actually would come for me?
Why did I want you to feel some emotion towards me, even if it was distaste at my actions?
Why did I want so badly for you to be there for me one last time?
Why didn't I just do it?