I love you* I thought,
as you sat across the table,
wishing I could say it out loud
and grab your hand and cry.
but I laugh at my thoughts
because their validity is questionable:
wishing to say something
and wanting to say it
are completely different concepts.

when you wish for something
it’s out of your control,
a silent hail-mary pass
to a blind wide receiver.
but wanting something
is more than just an action or a feeling
it’s a state of being
that will overcome body and mind,
and achieving that want
is all that matters.

So I might wish
that I could say that I love you,
but what I really mean
it that I want to love you.
and that’s why I don’t say it.
because I know I don’t.