I can still smell
Your smoke stained skin
She asks me why
I have a pack of cigarettes underneath my bed
A small box of short marlborro reds
I am not a smoker
Instead
I like the scent of them
She says
It's strange that I do
But I do
I will sometimes open a pack
And Inhale
Breath in
Just to remind me of you
And my 15 year old self
Who I was back then
Back when I believed that love was supposed to hurt
Sometimes
I get the urge to light one up just to put it out on my skin
In order to remind me what it felt like to love you
I do not smoke
Yet sometimes the memory of you
Makes me want to until I suffocate
Makes me want to form an addiction
Start a relationship with nicotine
Just to remind me
How it felt
To be addicted to you
People say cigarettes are dangerous
But you are poison in the raw form
I used to hold my breath around smokers
But now
I take it in
Keeping my lungs wide open
And my heart
Sealed
Shut.