twenty something

It's funny how years and years go by
in a place
where pain once burrowed
so intently
at that time
when it had nothing else to do
but torture my limbs
and make heavy my knees
i remember hating my feet
for weeks I didn't speak
defeat
that swelled my eyes
I was a baby
and you were mine
and I chased you
like a dog
I was always a dog
I followed you to the end of your smile
and kissed it so many times
more than I'd ever kissed anyone
still to this day
I praise you
much differently than then
of course
we are both women now
we still share the same friends
but you're never around when I'm with them
I get this, it's different
and I don't even mean to think about it
I just remember growing
and you were always around
and I always chased you
I think I still chase you
and I know i'm still growing
I've just always needed to say thank you for that