Last night I tried getting arrested,
and tried wrestling a plastic bag
out of a tree. The cops are
too forgiving. I lobbed rocks over
grocery stores and down the
empty streets of 4am.
I am relentless only
in my want of death.
I am lonely.
I am lonely right now.
I don't want to be lonely but I have no choice.
So here I am being ******* lonely,
and I won't say **** because I want you
to come to me first, to reach out first,
and secretly I want to be dead
before you make it here.
I want to cry but the tears just fall into that void.
I wish I could just feel empty or numb.
I had so many dreams once...