I don't know if I'd call this.. this life, living. Yes, physically I am alive. My heart beats, my lungs take in oxygen. But I feel nothing. Walking amongst the crowds invisible to all; without purpose, without responsibility, without hope. No one sees the pain in my eye as a cry for help. It's just normal, regular, me. They tell me to "get over it", "move on", "find someone new", "it'll be okay"; but how? How can I? I have no idea where to begin. Day in and day out he is all I think about. It's almost repulsive really how obsessive I've become. It'd be different if I'd actually spoken to him, I suppose. I haven't said a word to him in over four months besides " Happy New Year", even then it was nothing special. This is pathetic. I am a pathetic. Why can't I just face reality? Accept the truth. In my heart, I know if I ever mattered, he would have reached out.