You wanted it so bad? The truth? How deserving are you as a liar?

I love these people beside me. They don't look past me. They care about me and don't hate me for laughing. They ask me why I'm crying and they know when I'm lying and they'll laugh with me even though they see my smile is dying. Even though I'm alone at these tables, all of no one.  I'll spin another fable just to remain numb. You see, I watch, I learn and I listen. I hated seeing all these cut wrists and so I stopped everything, and quit *******. I was alone for a while. I guess I wasn't fit for the dog-pile. I wasn't smart enough for the nerd **** and I wasn't cute enough for the cool kids. I learned to fight for your life. It was do or die. I was living outside and dying inside. A constant fight for myself. Now I'm back there; stuck in my hell. Everyone's got it worse than me. So why do I get to complain?  Because everyone is impacted differently, in different ways. I shouldn't at all really, but no one could punish me more than me. So just hug me tight and tell me it'll be alright. At least for tonight.