i'm trying to find something to live for.
so harmfully caught between
living for myself and living for God.
i know He is in control
but i would like to hold the steering wheel.

it's said that man plans his steps
but the Lord guides those steps.
i can't help but want to be the planner
and the guide.
i'm not sure if that's wrong of me.

i guess it will take time to help me,
to enlighten me, to really show me
that God is in control.
i shall lean not on my own understanding
because i'm afraid i don't understand anything
at all.

                                                          -­h.m.r.