i closed up
and from the minute you kept me company i felt stardust on my skin but it was so cold and i feel so cold and i can't help but shake
i see cars crashing and i see shadows twitching with fear and with vice
and the energy that radiates from every living thing pierces my wellbeing
constantly
pervasively
i do understand when i say i understand, unfortunately
and i've understood much more than any human stricken with bliss has ever even acknowledged

shields can be beautiful things if you know how to use them
but alas i do not and i still end up getting hit

if there is an end then why am i still falling into this abyss even after everyone else has gotten out
i never caught up to the wonders of an uncluttered mind;
the only thing sound here is my ability to accept

i feel
i feel.
and that's the problem
emotions are purely transient things
and whether that should make me feel
sad
angry
happy
or
if i just shouldn't bother at all

no one wants to hear a thing you say unless they've heard it in their own heads before
and so i hold my breath as the air in the room is taken up by refractory lungs

maybe i shouldn't ask or maybe i shouldn't tell
but the unknown slices my skin with such ease when i feel it in your grip
i spilled my guts hoping you'd give me yours to fill me up again

all i am is chaos embodied in an empty cage of flesh and bone
and
i closed up
because all i am is an open book with a sad story that nobody ever wants to read again