maybe one more cigarette will do the trick
maybe the smoke will fill my mind until there's no room left for these thoughts that i can't bury inside any longer. maybe it will choke out the memories of loves past and loves released. maybe it will **** the weary cells within me.
maybe one less meal will fix my mind
maybe depriving my body of the proper nutrients will **** out the hatred from my bones. maybe an empty stomach will provide an empty mind. maybe i will be so focused on my hunger that i won't be able to focus on regrets.
maybe another drink will solve things
maybe i won't remember any of this tomorrow, and i will awake with a fresh mind and a fresh start to this life that i've so gloriously ******. maybe if i could just forget for a moment, if i could just let go for a few moments, it will all pass away and the stars will shine again.
maybe a little more pain will make it leave
maybe by tracing this razor across my skin, the demons will flow out with the blood, ceremoniously intertwined together. maybe if i can just feel something, anything, i will remember that i'm still alive.
maybe one more kiss will take me away
maybe if we could just press our lips together, the pain and the guilt and the doubt will fade away into the bliss that is our love. maybe if you would just put your skin on mine, and i could feel your heartbeat, and your blood, and your life, then i will know that there is a reason i'm alive. maybe if you trace your fingers down my spine, i will know that there is a reason i'm here. maybe i will finally realize that i'm worth it, despite the evil inside trying to choke out any hope of my freedom. maybe if you could just hold me one more time, i will feel safe in my own skin again. and i will take back my body like a victor. and i will own my skin, and my hair, and my bones and my lungs and my heart, and remember them as the gift that they are. maybe i will win.
maybe