don't think you understand,

I don't want to believe I am this horrible human being.
I've done things, I've hurt people in ways you wouldn't believe I could. I broke people, some of them may never be repaired. The worst part? I enjoyed it; Seeing their hate, their despise, watching their mental walls crumble filled me with wonder and joy.

I don't want to believe I am broken, but the past haunts me, and I can't even remember it, but I know it's there - the horrible truth. When I try I can almost remember - but it hurts too much.
People have hurt me, broke my heart, broke my trust, crushed my faith in humanity and left me scared for life. If only I could remember why.
I don't want to love you, you deserve better, someone beautiful and whole like you, but I do. I love you.

I do