Mask

I'm happy for you I truly am But this smile is not the portrait of that happiness It is a poorly formed mask Used to hide my jealousy And my pain And worst of all my self-pity and self-hatred I want nothing more Than to smile once again And to mean it But the cavernous hole in my heart That has yet to be filled with the love of another Grows larger and larger with each passing day Each week Each month Each year And every day it becomes harder to even put on the mask to hide beneath Every day a little more of the jealousy The pain The self-pity and the self-hatred shows And I fear that when my heart can no longer bear the weight Of the mask any longer I will truly be alone

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