Holding on to everything
Crumbling to dust in my hands
There was never anything
That made me whole, and I understand
Although the things I’ve given
Have not been lost in vain
It was never meant for me
To live without this pain
Nothing that I’ve taken
Will I ever give away
These miseries I’ve stolen
Will go with me when I fade

My gifts aren’t what I’ve given
But what I take away
I filled the emptiness inside
By drinking in your pain
Taking on your sorrow
Giving laughter in return
I’ve suffered under veils of smiles
And bled your tears in turn
I’ve saved you from these things that ****
I’ve sometimes left you numb
If nothing else, to save you
So that you will not succumb

This pain is like an anchor
It only pulls you down
And the undertow of agony
Will drag you from the shore
I couldn’t say I love you
If I stood and watched you drown
Knowing I could save you
From the fate you had in store

Never think I hated you
For what I have confessed
I was always happiest
When I knew you suffered less
Know it was my choice
To draw your pain into my core
The only thing that pains me
Is I couldn’t help you more
For my own private demons
They still scar me to this day
There was never anyone
To take my pain away
But I have learned to suffer
Finding heaven in this hell
Knowing I could keep you
From the darkness where I dwell

To be the one to sit inside
This unlocked cell of suffering
Choking on the ashes
Of memories that scream
Failing every day
To be the one who is recovering
From agonies I’ve stolen
So your sanity could breathe
Saving you has saved me
From the madness that entombs me
Helping me to battle
Through the darkest of my days
I just hope that when this life
Finally consumes me
That you’ll be happy for me
As they carry me away