The Creator looked at the elephant and said: I made you big so you could be gentle To the mouse he said: I made you small so you could walk tall But over millions of years you two could exchange places and one become the other.
I know I shoved the lot of you in an Ark Because Noah was being a pesk asking for rain when his washing machine ran dry So I had to fill the oceans to stop that old man from complaining all the time. Besides I needed the bark from the trees of the Ark to make me a small tug boat to carry some DNA samples of my own, in case, the lion ate the cow, the tiger chewed on the cat and the fox tricked the rest with his cunning ways You see, my friends, there was no grass, or snakes or bird cages, or trees for the monkeys to swing on.
I thought of many things before I gave the building plans to Noah and his sons. Only one was a builder the rest were bums, who never held a hammer or learned how to tie two bits of trees together, leave alone building an ark to hold the worlds whole creation.Thankfully there were no real estate agents pushing the price up or bankers charging interest. The mafia thought of charging an entrance fee for each pair, but before they could do that the rains came pelting down and the tickets got washed away in the storm.
So you see the Ark was a joint venture between The Americans and Chinese and Indians because they were willing to multiply quicker than the rest once Mt Sinai rose up to meet the oak leviathan from underneath.
And so my dear elephants and mouse and fox and snake and bird and lion and tiger. Noah and his wonderful Ark was a script written well ahead so that Russell Crowe could get a part playing Noah in a computer generated extravaganza where only the actors and actresses who could afford to pay a price to be in it - were involved.