you taught me how to like again.
i could swear i saw you pick up the pieces of the remnants of my broken heart as they fell and hand them back to me with a smile, an assurance that everything was going to be okay.
you let me fall for all the stupid things that you do, like the way that you joke around or how you always care about me and worry if i'm not okay.
you picked up my heart and handed it back but didn't step away from my radar and there i went stupid enough to start to fall back into your arms, thinking all the trust exercises in third grade would all of a sudden work with someone.
but i should have listened to them all; don't give your heart up that easily, it's only a mirage.
because i was falling so slow that i could see my feet being lifted above the very ground i was walking on, the very streets that we walked in, the halls we flirted it, and i knew that you were no good while i slipped but when you slip you just keep on falling and i couldn't help myself.
but gravity finally set in with my sense of realization that i am going to fall on my own, with no one to catch me once again.
i am going to land on my ***, and it's going to be painful, and i'm not going to want to get up or look at anyone in the eye that saw me as i fell, because deep down they all knew it was a mistake too, and they tried to tell me and i wouldn't listen.
and now i'm dancing on the tightrope of how i feel and you're no longer turning into the net that will catch me but rather the gust of wind that will make me fall into the cold lake of reality below.
and now it's 5am and all i want to do is cry because i know that i lied to you and you know that i lied to you but i am so accustomed to putting on smiley faces  anyway and i'm so used to being never good enough that there is not point in trying to say how i feel; i know how i feel.
i feel like ****.
but now i'm going to straighten myself up and put on a smile, and pretend it's all okay.

because that's what girls like me do.