you're the person i look for in crowds,
you're the person i want to see in the morning
the person i want to see in the afternoon.
and that doesn't always happen
i don't always see you
and sometimes you're mean
and it breaks my heart
i've told you once i've given up on you.
but i seem to go back,
foolish, i realise but you draw me back in.
i have my days
where i'm nothing but my body
working through the regular motions.
and you tell me to cheer up
usually some form of contact
a hug, or a shoulder tap
and i tell you no.
no i won't cheer up.
because you're usually
the one who's put me down
in the first place
then you cheer me up,
and i don't think you realize that at all.
that you're the sources for both
my happiness and my depression.
by the next day i'm happy again
and the next day we're distant again.
and i continue to go through the motions of mood
where you make me happy
but our lack of contact puts me back
or your kindness has gone
and telling me to cheer up.

|m.s.