maybe if I pray hard enough, things will begin to fall into place;
just maybe my perspective will change and I'll begin to appreciate the ******* I'm being handed everyday and learn not to complain.

maybe if I pray hard enough,
my mind will return from it's defense mechanism of shutting down and running away to 'happy places', and remind my body how to breath again;
just maybe I will be able to breath again.

maybe if I pray hard enough I won't need to cry often;
just maybe I'll be injected with an ounce of hope that I can continue on;
perhaps these feelings that make me want to die every day will disappear

maybe if I pray hard enough
I'll disappear.

c.m