Slowly knocking on Satan's door, she's begging someone to let her in.
For, if only she knew of the light shining from her right now, maybe she wouldn't even have contemplated it.
Self destruction has taken on a new level for her and tonight will be her last night of suffering.
I want to believe that this life will someday change for the better.
I want to believe that one day, life won't push people to the destruction of their own life.
But, that just isn't how the dice roll.
If we could somehow find a way to explain to the nonbelievers that there exists a place where we could still be in love.
We too often push love to the side because of the feelings it causes.
Love is so powerful that it may bring you to do things you wouldn't normally do.
The love can be so blinding that you can often fall into a whirlwind of hurt.
The scariest thing of all is the love can be addicting.
When you love someone, it is a drug.
Everything they do, you want more of it.
It becomes your nicotine.
The love is when you hear their voice when they aren't around..
when you have their scent memorized..
when you start to talk like them..
when you are in a crowd of people and you can only see them.
That's when you know you are in love.
I found my first true love about four years ago...
I did not know until now the impact he had over my life.
I had never felt myself so happy, so peaceful until the love with him was reciprocated.
And if you asked me today,
I would still tell you I loved him.
I love him enough to give him his space.
I love him enough to let him figure some things out.
I love him enough to let him grow.
I know deep in my heart that he will come back to me because I now know what it is like to sacrifice so much of myself for love.
It hurts.
It can physically hurt.
The breathless pain you feel when you can barely drag yourself out of bed.
When you reach over and he's not in his spot.
When you can't even look him in eyes because it hurts too bad.
I coud easily give up on love, but I won't allow myself to, because all of the heartache, pain and tears are worth it.
Because one day, I will look into his eyes and know I have found the one.