The expectations were high,
the nerves were about to explode

But I was ready.

This is what I had trained for
Even if I got my time from last year
I would be fine, it would be good.

But it wasn't

I tried so hard but my legs didn't want to listen
My throat wouldn't let air into my lungs
My mind was ready to give up.

When he told me the time with sigh

I wanted to curl up in a corner
To never show my face in public again,
not even to my 'understanding' friends

All that was for nothing
I wasn't what I thought I was

I am a failure