How long do I have left?
I'm getting ready, gathering supplies.
Lying in wait for the most important part.

People may say I need to get a grip
and they do not even have an idea how long ago
I let go

I let go and grasp
my fate
of either way

And really it could go
any way I want it to go

What way do I want
it to go

I know which way it should
but should I
do this

Or can I
do this

You say I can
but I'm not sure

You aren't inside my head
you can't see these thoughts

I doubt you want to
and I doubt you could stand it

It's not beautiful or pretty
like you say I am

Beauty isn't deep
it doesn't count for the nights
that I use those most important things