The morning is far away
but it will be bitter sweet.
It's a week away
but the emptiness is overflowing.

Elite memories
I wish were vague
pound into my heart.

Six years.
Six.

For each of those years
this date was special,
it was eagerly awaited
and planned
and performed-
a date in which
I would spend all extra money
and countless hours
plotting,
awaiting the chance to please
and dazzle.

For six years this date was special.
Now... so quickly... it's nothing.

I know what she'll be doing
I know what she'll be eating
I know what kind of cake she'll get...
what she'll think about
talk about
laugh about
joke about
be confused about
everything...
I...
I know it all...


For six years April 16th
was the most important day of the year,
the day my best friend would age
just 19 days earlier than I.

For six years April 16th
was my devotion to her.

but now...
now it's nothing.

It's a week away but still
my body goes weak with the memories.

I look at her new best friend;
just a prettier me,
it's not like we fought
or we did anything wrong-
our world just stopped.
and split in two.

I know what she'll be doing on April 16th.
I'll be alone in my house,
facts of her penetrating my brain-
for I know all there ever is to know-
all the stories she's ever had to tell-
all her wants
hopes
dreams
fears-

Will she think of me?

For the first time in six years,
she will have a birthday
without me.
Six years without being separated..
six years.
It's like those years never existed.

I fear next week
like no other.
I'll sit in my room-
unable to even wish her a facebook happy birthday,
I can only sit and wish her happiness.
So here it goes,
to the only girl who knew everything about me,
and I her,
to the girl I'd give the world for,
to the girl who is but a ghost of my memories
and I of hers,

Happy Birthday, Tiffany Amber.