i'm beyond sick of acting like i'm happy for people. i'm not happy for them. i'm not happy at all. every single day i simply go through the motions of the same boring routine rather than actually dance through life like all the happy people. do you know how hard it is to choke back your tears everyday because you have to be strong? do you know how hard it is to hold everything in because nobody gives a single **** about how you feel, all because of the way you look of dress of act or express yourself. if i was a little skinnier and maybe a little prettier, everyone would want to make sure i was okay. they'd want to be invested in **** they have no point in knowing and then try to play it off like they actually cared. today's society is completely superficial and i'm over it. if a "regular" person was suicidal, they'd be told to lay down and drink some water or tell themselves that they can get better, just to change their state of mind. the likelihood of one of the "socially accepted" people getting attention for suicidal feelings is much higher. i'm sick of people not caring. i'm sick of people not paying attention to anyone but themselves.
it just really hurts.
i'm sorry.