As I lay here awake,
I think of my countless mistakes,
And what the future may look like,
What could be my fate.

Will I ever see the difference between real and fake,
Words cannot hurt me anymore,
But this heart of gold can still break,
And I will put everything at stake,
To find a person,
Whose happiness, to I, they will elate,
And I will call them my forever mate.

Will I look back,
Finally face my past,
Come off with a clean slate,
Forget about the busted doors and broken plates.

I will throw open my heart,
Like a backyard gate,
Let love heal this seemingly never ending heartache,
And these walls I've put up,
May they disintegrate,
No longer will I let myself feel so much hate,
And no more will I be stuck in this depressive state.

So I wonder,
What path, for myself, will I create,
What future sacrifices I may make,
But how long can I really wait.
I wish I was more sure of my fate,
All these feelings just further complicate,
But I can't think about that now,
For its getting really late,
But I can't sleep,
So I'll lay here,
Tears dripping down my face,
And I'll ponder,
Wide awake.