Due to not being raised I lack the fundamentals
Not understanding how to be human is making me go mental
To you it may all be simple
But I was raised by people who don't have principals
So if you **** me off I may smack your mouth
And later on think about why did I take that route
Well my father was an angry man
So an angry man I stand
And my mother was a coke head
Sniffing lines as I'm a baby in a crib next to her bed
So I can solidly understand this all ****** with my head
Not lying an stealing may make sense to you
But I can't fully grasp the concepts of the things that I do
I'm lost
I'm not making excuses
But perception of the real world has something to do with this
It was a common thing to hear "I'm sorry honey nothing to eat I fear"
So my groaning belly stayed for many years
The anger manifested I took it out on my piers
Anyone with something to say got something to hear
Never shut my mouth
Expeshally when I should
Never taught by anyone the difference between bad or good
I'm lost
And I'll survive by all costs
My emotions have been flipped over and criss crossed
Been choke slammed and tossed
By the people who legally should protect me but couldn't cause of the sauce
It's been a few minutes since his last drink
The boos on his breathe really makes him stink
Comes home gets drunk and starts hitting
Nothing to deserve this, did nothing that was fitting
Screaming at me telling me I'm a *******
"Keep crying you ******* baby I'll rip off your quivering lip"
I'm 9 years old dad why are you hitting me
"Your still 9 years old? Are you ******* kidding me"
I'm lost
Mom help me please I broke my arm
"Mom's busy baby, your fine theres no harm"
Mom get out the bathroom I need your help
"Son your fine no need to cry over spilled milk"
"Moms taking her medication she'll be out soon"
Hours pass and I'm still alone in my room
I need some guidance from anyone in sight
But instead I sit in the dark of my room all night
I'm lost
Hey big brother what do these pills do?
If you take them you'll relax just ******* chill dude
Are they dangerous or anything? Could I get hurt
If you don't ******* chill out they won't even work
It's just a perk calm your nerves
And so I took the pill thinking it's a cure
I'm lost
Family doesn't mean protection
Family doesn't mean love
Been struggling my hole life with no angel from above
I prey regularly asking for help
But nothing gets explained to me
I'm running in circles in hell
Someone should reach out and stop my behavior
But not body cares when I'm the one in danger
I'm dead