i still remember
when you held your burning cigarette
only a gasp away
from the delicate skin
of your wrist.
your mother kicked you out
your father was drinking again
i didn’t know the right words to say,
so i didn’t say anything at all.
i don’t think you even realized
you were crying.
do you remember the night
we shared a stolen bottle of wine
told secret after secret
made love by candlelight,
the golden glow dripping over our bodies
casting languid shadows
& how after my parents had long since fallen asleep
i crept from my bedroom to the basement where you slept
curled against your listless warmth
finally sleeping through the night
without a single
bad dream.

will you forget the way you held me as i shook
uncontrollable spasms of tears & i’m sorry’s
i scared you with the sins
i commited upon my own skin
the way i never knew
how to love myself.
i’m sorry

i don’t want you to forget
how we were
how we loved
how you gave me the best of yourself
taught me of my own worth.
there are so many memories i cannot vanquish
but i no longer want to lose them,
losing you may have left me raw
but i will never stop loving.

this, i promise you
you will always live in my mind.