For all who have been wondering
Let me set the story straight
About the hillbilly holidays
Before it gets too late

We don't have an Easter possum
This tale is just a myth
It's a cute little bunny with a basket
To collect our Easter eggs with

And Cupid don't wear overalls
And fly around with a gun
He shoots them tiny little arrows
But we know it's all in fun

And Santa still has his reindeer
Not a horse tied to his sleigh
We leave him milk and cookies
Not moonshine like they say

The Tooth Fairy is not toothless
This simply isn't true
She always leaves us money
Just like the rest of you

And of course that leaves Thanksgiving
So what else could I say
We eat turkey like everyone else
On this Hillbilly Holiday

So now that everyone understands
That hillbilly is just a name
It don't matter where you live
Our holidays are all the same

Hillbillies are like everyone else
And there's nothing for you to fear
If you ever have anymore questions
Well, Ya'll come back now, hear?