I am made of flaws
And bad decisions
Stitched together with recklessness
In such a way
That makes self destruction
Inevitable

I stitched my heart
Onto your sleeve
But you let my world crumbled
Around your fingertips

You whispered promises
You couldn’t keep
In my ear
In my sleep
But these dreams you sold to me
Have turned into nightmares and defeat

You left my life
Crumbling ‘round my feet
My anxiety rose
I spiraled out of control
I fell down this darkened hole
And so self destruction began

Have you ever choked on the smoke
That numbs your chest
And clouds your mind?
The bottle went up
And the fear went down
I stumbled back and forth
Between pain and numbness

I think I saw you in a dream
And I thought I heard the door open
But the door was just closing
And the dream was a drunken haze
I close my eyes
And I see yours
Staring back at me

I still remember the way
Your fingertips traced my skin
Your cool skin
Pressed against mine
I offered you my warmth
And you took it all away

I look at myself
And I understand
Why you left
****, I’m such a mess
But you made me like this

I’m not sad anymore
And the numbness has gone away
My emotion has turned a page
Now all I feel is rage

I won’t waste my unscarred knuckles
I have hands
So I can break things
I yell
Until my lungs seem empty
But the room is filled

I’m angry
But I don’t know at who
You
Or me

I’ve slipped back into numbness
I think I like this best
The nagging pain
Is easily taken away
With a stoge and a shot
I think I like this best

Did you know
That the sun still rises
Even though you’re not here?
The stars still shine
The moon waxes and wanes
Did you know?
Because I didn’t

I woke up
And your pillow didn’t smell like you anymore
All the pictures of us
Were broken
All the traces of you
Were gone

In biology
We learned that cells get replaced
Every 6.5 years
That means one day
I will have a body
That you have never touched

I put away the whiskey
I stopped buying stoges
And I picked up the pieces
Most of them, at least