I've always been pretty melancholy It's not hard to see it in my eyes I've been that way my whole life You might not think they're good ones but I have my reasons My parents divorced when I was very young But I wasn't old enough to understand what that meant at the time That couldn't really **** me up on its own It led to a controlling stepfather though who was always quick to put his hands on my face whenever I said or did something he didn't like as I was growing up It also led to a stepsister a daughter of my stepmother's who was quick to do things that I'll leave to your imagination rather than talking about explicitly And my Dad was an angry man He threw things Knives salt shakers you name it It was always frightening to see such displays of something that was in my blood Don't get me wrong I had a decent childhood overall despite the ******* at two homes and being ****** with at school for being fat My adult life has been much better I lost all the weight I've had pretty girls probably more of them than I deserve I've been in jail and on top of mountains I've gotten drunk with my friends and we've done drugs a few times Okay lots of times I like my **** just like my Dad and I like my whiskey just like his Dad It's in the blood So I've had fun I've had moments of bright yellow laughter in between rose pink kisses Bursts of joy fresh and spring green Dark red bouts of passion tender ones in beds and hard ones with fists Fleeting silvery embraces of grief Episodes of orange boisterousness Soft cerulean calmnesses and peace But all of these colors are just random brush strokes and splatters added to a canvas that was first entirely covered with the deepest most aching shade of violet immediately after being placed upon the easel Someday maybe the violet won't show through to others I'll always know it's there