Perhaps I read too much, and not do enough.
perhaps, I allow the twinkling stars to intoxicate me.
I am selfish enough to dream of the stars belonging to me,
they are my true love.
Am I to naive to know of what I need? asking myself why so hard do I think?
Do I read first then apply.?
Does knowing and not doing make me ignorant or wise?
Do I just act? Then look back?
At what I should of already looked at?
Does that make me weak or strong?  
Backtracking all that I've done wrong.
Do I stand still or carry on?
Perhaps I am confused.
I retain these things but don't know what to do.
Am I just a fool to myself?
Or a poor woman who's knowledge is her  wealth?
shall I believe what I read? if it feels true to me?
Or do I believe is all a lie?
Second guess all  that passes my eye?
And let the only thing that is real be the tears that they  cry?
Am I to **** up My hurt feelings, pray for healing...?
Be humble and forgive them, all those who did it.
And yet not allowed the mercy to forget it..
Left in the the same position,  second guessing my first question
is what I see , reality? Or am I filled with anxiety.
I dont know if this is all a truth or is a lie to me.
When I try to find solidity ,
I ask the these questions that hide in me ,
so they see, whats inside of me..
It soon floods with tears, exposed are my fears..
Trying not to care but , but im scared.
I share my plight, hoping to be empathized,
but I share with those who have caused the lies and put these dieses in my mind,
but  they are the only ones that care that im scared,
trying to hide that im confused, emotionally bruised,
in my heart
where it all starts..
then travles in my brain..
and I dwell in the pain,
And the only thing thatmakes me sain
Is the intoxcation of the stars
As they twinkle a million miles away