I'm not accustomed to happy
Possibly even to the point where I lay there
And push myself into melancholy
Because it feels more natural to me.
I know happiness is only a temporary
And short lived guest,
So I kick it out,
Before I get used to seeing it
And hearing its gentle soothing voice
Telling me I'm okay.
Because eveytime I get attached to it,
It screams for it's space and it leaves me
Doubled over in pain,
Confusion leaking from my brain.

People don't understand
What I mean when I say
That I feel like ripping off my skin
To figure out the cause of this feeling.
Is there something inside,
Running through my bloodstream,
That makes me feel like sadness is more fitting?
Its crazy,
Knowing that this monster is there
Hiding beneath my skin,
Waiting to take me over
And drown me in sorrow
From the inside-out.

I can always feel it take over,
And so now I welcome it.
Because a fight hurts you a lot more
When you go into it knowing you'll lose.