I've probably thought like this before,
so many times,
perhaps for all the wrong reasons,
but this time I guess it really matters.
   So I start off thinking,
can she love me?
theres that part of me that says,
ye she's just confused because you've been ill,
maybe if I hadn't have been so wrong,
this distance wouldn't have happened,
who am I to know?
there is another part of me which says,
maybe not perhaps she's board of me,
and she just doesn't know how to say it,
   Which then leads me to think,
Does she think there's someone better out there for her,
someone who looks better maybe?
perhaps I'm not gonna be the best any more,
she said I'm still attractive but how much am I really?
someone who makes her feel better all round.
   Perhaps she thinks I love her but not enough?
so maybe there is someone out there,
who she wants to be closer to instead of me,
someone who she'd rather spend her life with.
   I wonder If she knows I believe there is no one,
who could love her more than me now,
I would do anything for her,
and appreciate her for who she really,
and be confronted by being privileged enough to know that,
   I wonder if she's thought what life would be like without me?
If she didn't have me yearning to be close,
would she care?
all those lovely times we had,
being silly,
or sneaky,
and laughing.
   I just want to make her happy!
we could have loads more wonderful times,
with me still close,
I wouldn't let her down later on,
we could both live more relaxed,
   I wonder if she can imagine,
all those good times but better an fresh,
without me having a bad head!
I can think more present now,
I can think more positive now,
how wonderful that would be with her!
   The map is now bright and full of opportunity,
it's full of wishes now,
not complete darkness,
I hope she doesn't think that I still will bog her down,
her high isn't my low.
   I'm still hers and she can trust me,
I hope she knows that she's gorgeous and lovely,
I can only hope I deserve more time with her,
and she'd be happier with me not without me,
   Hopefully we can push through this,
without a maximum of two kisses on a text,
and without a maximum in our lives,
we can go on and grow on,
I'm still me,
I won't give up.