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Oct 2010
You always said you'd be there for me, but Mom, you're not.
Where are you? Where've you gone? I think you forgot
About all the promises you made to me.
You've never been here, you've always been away, are you ashamed of me?
I think of the times you made me cry,
And I gotta wonder why, why do I care?
I see you don't, you never did, all you've said is lies.
What about when I was five, and that boy touched me wrongly?
You seemed mad, and you told my aunt
"You can't tell her dad."
I'd thought it was my fault, I didn't know, how was I supposed to?
I think back on it now and I just break down.
Thanks to that and thanks to you, I'm so ****** up now.
You can't call yourself a mom, cuz you arent one, to my brothers or me.
I hate you and I hate me.
Sometimes I can't stop crying.
I've given up, my wrists have bled,
And sometimes I wish I was dead.
Oh how I wish to forget, forget everything.
You never mean what you say or say what you mean.
I've got hurt, shame, guilt, pain, and rage.
I keep my emotions locked up in a cage.
I never wanna see you again, just go to hell.
In shadow of your selfishness, I fell.
You're not my mom, you never were, get outta my life.
All this pain you've caused, it still cuts me like a knife.
I was forced to grow up way too fast.
Inside I'm just a little girl, scared and ashamed of my past.
I'm being destroyed inside cuz I hate myself
For something I can't help.
Don't even try to aplogize;
Saying sorry won't make up for all the lies.
Thanks to you I hide what I feel,
Thanks to you, I'll probably never heal.
I hope you're please with how I turned out to be,
Cuz it's all thanks to you, Mommy....
Tricia Trout
Written by
Tricia Trout
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