assume the position

hold on to your right hand
as I to
the left

get back in the corner
brace yourself for the
fall

and
take it down              a little bit
(in solitude)
mention myself mentioning myself
held
on
to
the
dream

and fall right down
(hold me back up)
I knew what I had to do
and if I knew, what it was like
to be you I'd have to

assume
the
position
let it be heard
out to the world
my ideas, and my strengths
and the wills, not the woulds
could have would have if I tried
forgot for a second how to cry
except for the things that don't even pertain to me at all
and my excuses, if I may, could I throw my life away
and forget
the biggest one of all
I look to the sky and wonder why and wonder why and wonder why
but lie to myself and tell myself that everything's fine
(it's all in your mind) and why, oh why
couldn't you do more
am I lying on the floor for peace, or for
attention
try new things, again
all in
my mind
I'll look at
you
from far away
down the hall
wanting to call your name out, and hold
on a little bit
I know you feel the same way, I know it's like that
and honestly, I think you could be, more scared than me
about *this

and that's what she probably thinks
I know her better than myself
that's the idea
that's where we find our meaning
in each other's thoughts
we cannot hear, we only make up
choices are wrong and I've tried hard
to stop
and cry
I do it all the
time
and I think you know
if you knew
you'd understand
feelings  in real life are alien to you
but they're there
in fantasies of
assuming the position
I know it's true
when I look at you
and you look back
and I look over every face
every mistake cannot be reversed

but still, maybe
if I wanted to
I could just confess
in real life
that I have never and ever and never will again
feel the same way
about this
and you're my goddess
forever, and ever
you've shaped my
everything
more than you'll ever know
and words are ****
sometimes
emotions are worse
I am the Fall
get away from me
get away from me
get away from me
all of you, yes, all of you
get away from me
won't you see
that I'm right
here under
the polluted stars

and then I think

as everything grows
quieter
and quieter

that every face hides the
same thing

and then I know
the words need
to stop
they need to stop and everyone's looking
at the aura and the pain and
no one can feel it again and

I held tightly
the idea
that everyone reading is actually myself

I could die a hundred times over just to restart
but no matter
just stare at me
all of you
and I'll only look at you

it's not dark, it's light
let me in through the gates to drown in the sea of
mindless people
you're all so pitiful
you're all so sad, and for some reason
it's the only thing that makes me

mad