you've been feeling weird lately
like it only works when your eyes are shut tight
like it only works when your head is in your arms and you are fending off tears
its not that you're tired
i mean
you are tired
its just that you're not only tired
its everything else
its the fact that you've got nothing
so when you close your eyes and fall onto an unmade bed
it feels just a little less ****** up
you can't not, really
because the only place you exist is where you are
here
in a room smelling of cigarette smoke and city air
the floor covered with clothes and paper
books with the spines cracked
you can't not, you've decided