I have an epiphany
with every other breath
with each **** of air
I swear
another becomes redundant.
Sitting looking
on a window ledge
with a breeze
trying not to breathe.
With the slow burn
my mind turns.
I fear the years that stretch before me,
I fear what I’ll become,
I fear the tears yet to fall,
I fear the fear that grips my soul,
that shakes and breaks me,
in the dark .
My youth weighs heavy
and my shoulders already bowed
from the weight of the past
let it slip to the edge.
The vapid nights,
drunken sight,
a ragged boy soaked in gin and sin,
and the drugs that dragged him to escape.
But the dreams I dreamed
when in escape,
where no less worthy
than those I chose to make.