I tried not to look back… Honest to God, I grasped hold of everything inside me and willed myself to play it cool, be the Woody Allen character for just once and just walk on; but that isn’t who I am. Cusack intervened, and I watched your four headlights round the corner and continue on. Four, not because that’s how many there were, but because that’s how many I saw through the sheen of tears that blanketed my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as I walked into the house…
“Nothing. Everything. Life. Love.” She didn’t know how to respond and so instead, left me to my own devices once again.
I bolted the lock on the door and I sat down to think. Why? Why do we always find ourselves here? How is it that this is always the road that we end up walking together, so close, yet so very far apart? And how do we rectify this situation?
A thousand years ago, it was you who put forth too much, nearly to the point of suffocation. And presently, I am the stranglehold of our existence …
Yet how could we hold each other so passionately, kiss so deeply, if there wasn’t all of that and more, right here and now…?
As the tail lights faded, I asked myself these questions, and as I finish pouring out these words, I return to the very same sentiment…
Turn around.
I am here, ready and waiting for anything and everything, regardless of the naysayers. Regardless of myself…
Turn around.